Becoming a mother was a shocking transition for me. I expected some things, and other things totally took me by surprise. I wrote two other articles on Meal Trains, and how hard Church on Sunday was, but this time I want to talk about my God.
Here are three things I learned about God when I became a mom.
God’s Sacrifice Was Worth It To Him
Sacrifice is so easy for me when it comes to my child. I have already given him everything I have – and women understand what I’m saying. You give your child everything through pregnancy, birth, and the first few months of a baby’s life. You lose things. Things like free time, seeing movies, late nights out with friends, sleep, your hair [when it falls out], your cute fashion style, your money, and even parts of your brain get sacrificed and changed in order to mentally take on this baby. (I have read so many articles on “post-natal depletion” – read about it here! Women’s bodies change like crazy! Oh, and Dads sacrifice in almost every way except for the physical aspect.)
One thing that shocked me after Luke was born was my willingness and ability to sacrifice for Luke. If he couldn’t sleep all night without being held, I’d hold him and not sleep. If he needed something, I’d buy it without thinking. If something was better for him, I would do it no questions asked, no matter the cost to me.
I know without a doubt that God also feels this way about us. God sacrificed his one and only Son for us, Jesus Christ. There is nothing more precious than that sacrifice, and he willingly did what He needed to do to have relationship with us. I know that the sacrifice of Jesus wasn’t easy. Jesus wasn’t skipping and leaping and thrilled to die (Luke 22:39-46), but after He aligned his heart with God through prayer in the garden, he went forward to the cross without reconsidering. He knew his death was the only way to rescue his beloved people, and the sacrifice was worth it to him. Our connection and restored relationship to Him was worth the incredible pain and separation from the Father. He was willing to die. I understand that a little more now.
God Loves My Love
Luke’s capacity for love right now is pretty much 0 out of 10. He knows where to go to get his needs met but he can’t love. He doesn’t understand what I have given him, or what I do for him as his mom.
Apply this to God. God knows that in comparison to the depth and perfection of his love for us, our love is pretty much 0 out of 10. We can’t really love him. We don’t understand completely what He has given us. But when Luke looks at me and smiles, or rests his head on my shoulder, or looks around the room until he finds me… oh man my heart melts and I’m done. I know his capacity is small, but I also know that he’s operating at the peak level of his capacity. I’m so happy that he is “trying”. I’m so happy when he shows his love.
I can’t help but think that we get embarrassed to love God sometimes because we are so aware of our lack. We know our attempt isn’t worthy of Him. But God is overjoyed with our best attempt. He welcomes our small prayers, when we look for him in our circumstances, and when we enjoy his presence. I have learned to not be ashamed of my small love. We can approach God knowing we are fully loved and wanted.
God’s Salvation Is Needed Immediately
Right when Luke was born, Anthony and I talked about how crazy it was that in his brand new state, he already needed a savior. It was such a shock to look at a perfect baby and realize that he wasn’t perfect. He was born imperfect. His sin nature hadn’t done anything yet but it was still in there. It was also heartbreaking to think that there was already sin inside of him.
I would pray and cry over Luke in that time, so thankful that the saving work of Christ could also extend to my child. The work now is to show Luke each and every day who God is, praying that Luke chooses to follow Christ when he’s old enough to understand. Yes, I am thrilled to spend eternity with Christ, but I also want to spend it with my little boy.
It’s something I think about a lot. I sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star to Luke to put him down for naps, but Anthony and I have written our own songs to sing to him as well. It’s on my heart to bring the Gospel of Christ into every aspect of Luke’s life because he needs it. He needs it even now. These are the lyrics to my first Lullaby… I’m hoping to write many more!
God made the world in 7 days
Sent Jesus Christ to make a way
To live with Him for eternity
And forgive the sin inside of me
I am so thankful for the gift of motherhood. I am thankful that I get to experience a deeper relationship with God through this new role.
To the moms and dads out there, what are some things God taught you when you first became a parent?